Why Men Get Over A Breakup Faster Than Women – Or Do They?

Practically everyday you hear the same question from women who have recently suffered a breakup. They want to know why the breakup is not affecting their ex boyfriend in the same way it is affecting them. It can be heartbreaking and puzzling to hear of your ex out having fun and yet all you want to do is it alone and cry. Of course you are told that men and women may not be emotionally wired the same, but that might not entirely answer your question.

All of this talk you are hearing about what a great time your ex boyfriend is having, is because it only comes from the ones who don’t see him later when he is sitting in his room staring into empty space. In truth your ex boyfriend is feeling the same pain of loss and failure that you are feeling. He thinks about the good times with you and wonders why everything went wrong. But you will never get him to admit those feelings.

Boys and girls are raised to express their emotions in a different way. your ex boyfriend probably played sports and he was taught not to let the other side know if they had hurt him. But, being a girl, you were taught to express your emotions. If you were hurt or upset, it was alright for you to let the whole world know how you felt. These instincts are so strong that your ex boyfriend will never let you know how torn apart he is inside.

This would make getting your ex boyfriend back a much simpler task if you could always be sure of this. But unfortunately some guys are players and bounce from one woman to the next without any regard to your feelings when he dumps you. Which means that no matter how your ex conducts himself in public, you can’t be sure how he really feels about you.

Because of this uncertainty, you can’t just wait around for your ex boyfriend to make up his mind whether he wants you back or not. You have to be in control of your own life and make your own happiness. In fact the best way to make your ex decide if he wants a life with you, is to show him you can have a good life without him. If he really loves you, seeing you moving on will cause him to see how empty his life is without you.

You have to make up your mind that the old relationship has ended. Both of you have a right to live your life in a way that will make you happy and you have a right to love the person you choose. He has already let you go and the best thing for you to do at this time is let your ex boyfriend go also. When some time has passed you both may come to the realization that you should give things another try.

However, if that never happens, your ex boyfriend might never have considered your relationship to be permanent. To him it might have been just another fling and if that was the case, you are better off to move on.

4 Responses to “Why Men Get Over A Breakup Faster Than Women – Or Do They?”

  • shahedC:

    I have met a nice man, this one is about 9 1/2 years younger. We have a lot in common and we like to laugh. I am scared that I am going to be hurt again, but at the same time I dont want to be alone forever. There have not been many good prospects since my breakup with the ex boyfriend last year, and i really enjoy talking with this man, what should i do? Men my own age do nothing for me, they are boring and set in their ways.I have nothing in common with my age or older men. My last breakup almost killed me, i cannot stand to be hurt again, I am so afraid to trust, what do you say Yahoo forum? Am i being stupid to try this again?

  • toast:

    Just curious…we had an amazing 2 year relationship. I initiated the breakup (for health related/personal reasons) and after the breakup he has been the biggest jerk ever. He is 22 years old so I really don’t understand how he can be so immature.

    He has hurt me more than I ever thought possible…very rude anytime we talk (which we rarely have talked since the breakup)

    He jumped into a “relationship” super fast after we broke up and publicized it to all of our mutual friends/family.

    I just feel disrespected beyond belief…and really cant grasp how someone could do this to someone that they “love(d)”.

    Any input would be greatly appreciated (especially guys)

    Thanks in advance :)
    thank you all for your feedback.

    maybe I should have mentioned that the breakup WAS mutual. Along with my initiation due to my severe health problems…our relationship was starting to go a little south. It had been great for so long and then with moving to a new town/new schools/ new jobs etc…it was a new chapter in life in which we decided it be difficult to put the effort into our relationship when we are both so young and (especially for me) I wasnt able to put in that extra effort due to my health…it was just bad timing…we agreed to revisit the relationship when we would both be able to handle things 100% and maintain our friendship…well…you see how that turned out.

  • airdogspace2:

    im curious alot about who cures himself/herself better and quicker after a breakup takes place? who loses much? who cries more? who suffers more? for who breakup is easy?

    men or women?

  • wwwavid360gamercom:

    Me and my now ex boyfriend have had problems on and off like not being friends every other year because I had a boyfriend. At some point, we dated for 5 weeks and I just felt happier with my original boyfriend so we agreed to break up. I did some stupid things that hurt my ex bfs feelings and he hurt mine. We pretty much broke each others’ hearts. When he cut off all communication with me, and even blocked me, i tried everything to fix it. We had several confrontations where he said he didnt feel good enough for me and how it was so miserable for him when he had to get over me. and other times where he acted totally nonchalant, like he didnt care at all. The other day we talked and agreed that we just dated at the wrong time but he said he thought it was better that we did break up. We had a best friend kind of relationship before, so it was like old times when we talked. We laughed and talked about random stuff for a bit and then when he had to leave, we both stalled. and i asked him “so are we good?” and he said “I guess.” and he said he didnt want to start hanging out again cuz he just thot it would be better and he mentioned how he hardly has time with sports and homework (same with me). This confrontation finally went well and then he still didnt want to start hanging out. And he doesnt reply to my messages. I’m so confused. I just want to be friends again and if this went so well, why doesnt he want to talk to me? and its hard for him to even look at me when we talk. Why did he have fun with me and then say he still didnt want to start hanging out?

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